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[Wrote this for Left Hip a whole bunch of court appearances ago, but the mag had a change of format and couldn't run it.]

In Herbie: Fully Loaded Lindsay wavers between hesitancy and purpose as she plays a character who isn't sure she has a right to her own talent and destiny. So it's a shock after the end credits when the video to "First" rolls in and there she is being needy and demanding Lindsay Lohan. The song was written by others, and it too may be just an act, but it's the one I fall for and the one that defines her for me. She's got a thin singing voice but it doesn't feel thin, with her command and charisma always front and center.

For "Confessions Of A Broken Heart" she sent Kara DioGuardi emails about missing the attention of her absent dad, and she and Kara worked those emails into lyrics. On the alb, Lindsay wants us to want her, does so more convincingly than Cheap Trick ever did. She splashes around hilariously in "Who Loves You?" and she lives for the day when we'll be desperate and dying inside. She's got two masterpieces, "I Live For The Day" and "Nobody 'Til You," all centered on her vortex of need, the only girl in the room. But now she's caught in the criminal justice system, and once you're in you gotta do what the judges and POs say, gotta show up for court dates and classes, and you can't cut it close or function without a plan b, 'cause bad luck's not an excuse, and you gotta listen to them but they don't have to listen to you.


"Nobody 'Til You" written by John Shanks and Kara DioGuardi

I am ducks

Mar. 29th, 2010 02:04 pm
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New Lindsay Lohan, posted on Perez Hilton. Song seems to be called "Stuck" though I heard it differently at first. A friend of mine says, "starts out like a Ladytron song. then fortunately gets better than a Ladytron song." However, it doesn't get better than "Bossy," the last Lohan single, which I loved and so did Dave but no one else noticed. This one is too fuzz stuck, but still quite good, in fact I'm on my fifth run-through.
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Alfred Soto claimed over on a Justin Bieber review thread on the Jukebox that "In our many, many teen-pop discussions we rarely discuss the interaction of sexuality and the singers' self-representations" (he also claimed that gay male critics preferred male singers, which certainly didn't accord with my experience, or that of anyone else who commented). Anyhow, I took this as a challenge to engage in familiar riffing about Ashlee, Lindsay, and Taylor. You can click the link for context; here's what I wrote:

Familiar riffing about Ashlee, Lindsay, and Taylor )
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"What is a nonsingle?" I hear you ask. A nonsingle is an album cut that never becomes a single and never acts like a single (so, doesn't get a lot of airplay or get talked about by more than one set of friends and doesn't chart for more than a couple of weeks), or it's a leaked track that wasn't leaked by the artist and doesn't act like a single (see previous parenthesis). So, for example, Jay-Z's "Takeover" was an album cut that was never pushed as a single, but it's not eligible in the nonsingles category, the reason being that it was chatted about and responded to all over the place, was the subject of an answer song, etc.

Top Five Nonsingles Of The '00s

1. t.A.T.u. "Kosmos" [English-language version is "Cosmos (Outer Space)"]
2. María Daniela Y Su Sonido Lasser "Duri Duri"
3. Margaret Berger "Robot Song"
4. Fannypack "Smack It Up"
5. Lindsay Lohan "Nobody 'Til You"

(Didn't do a 6 through 10, but if you want a top ten, just insert your five favorite Cassie leaks.)

"Kosmos" is the standard t.A.T.u. exploitation of their supposedly forbidden supposed love, and in all its transparent obviousness it is just utterly, exquisitely, beautifully moving. "Robot Song" does the same trick, forbidden romance as a gag, "I'm in love with a robot," and then fakes out the gag with its own exquisite beauty, is as intense for me as Murnau's Tabu or Ophuls' Earrings Of Madame de...; I like to program "Robot Song" and "Cosmos (Outer Space)" back-to-back: come to get me when the stars die, another time, another place, another world, you're the only one who makes me feel a thing, guilt for the second best, feel no more, feel no less, our home forever is outer space, black stars and endless seas, outer space, new hope, new destinies, outer space, forever we'll be in outer space.

"Smack It Up" is a bratsmack, and "Duri Duri" is a Mexican Italodisco '80s classic given it's own '00s smackiness. "Nobody 'Til You" is - what? - the second most beautiful John Shanks song, a gorgeous flood of guitar chords.
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Celebrity blogpost that I kept reading after this first sentence even though on principle I shouldn't have:

"If you have something to say to me, say it to my face - that's what i have believed my whole life - don't be a coward and say it to others first, let alone all the media in the world..."

Also, check her "currently listening" which is quite um...

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