Frank Kogan

Finally watched this week's Idol clips. Was this the worst Idol week ever? Last week's was almost as bad, and I recall Beatles 2 being lousy, but this was as disengaged as I've ever felt.

Brooke White: Unfortunately took Andrew's advice and overacted the dying-swan effect, but was bearable.

David Cook: Completely a fish out of water, would not even have been good enough for a third-rate dinner theater in Petaluma. (Nothing against Petaluma, mind you, where I've never been.) This was just wrong, totally wrong.

Jason Castro: Weak. Terribly weak. Pale and washed-away and left for dead weak. Should've accompanied himself on the ukulele and maybe his puniness would have muscled its way through. Have there ever been such bad performances as this and David C's this late in the tournament? This is only the second year I've paid much attention, so I don't know. I remember Sanjaya's final couple of performances last year actually being pretty reasonable.

Carly Smithson: OK. She's at home, rocks it and stomps it, but home is still average bar-band soul.

Syesha Mercado: Is right with the rhythm but she has zilch personality to give it, despite her alleged "animation" this evening. I always feel like I'm hearing a simulation.

David Archuleta: Sweet, nice, ok...zzz...zzz.

( some more yawping )

Crappy night on Idol. Of the five I care nothing about, Michael Johns couldn't decide whether to overpower or soft-pedal the blues, the results were painful, and he can't sing anyway. For Ramiele Malubay the drum thumped, the audience clapped, and the voice did diddly squat. Really bad. "Something you'd hear on a cruise ship," said Simon, but this underestimates cruise ships. Syesha Mercado tackled Mt. Everest, i.e. "I Will Always Love You," and was nice and quiet at the start, didn't force it in the middle (though at this point her so-so-ness was evident), the blowout at the end was stupid but not too long, but this was bearable. Kristy Lee Cook has got to stop singing over two-step beats. She didn't sound too bad, actually, but the rhythm pulled the music out from under her. Carly Smithson, by not trying to rock out, had a warmer tone than I'd expected, was rather pleasant.

( Brooke, David, David, and Jason )

So, after my praising her last week, Brooke White does a disconnected, pale version of "Here Comes The Sun." Very disappointing.

( Reflections on further meh-ness )