Pale-and-washed-away-and-left-for-dead Week on Idol

[koganbot]

Finally watched this week's Idol clips. Was this the worst Idol week ever? Last week's was almost as bad, and I recall Beatles 2 being lousy, but this was as disengaged as I've ever felt.

Brooke White: Unfortunately took Andrew's advice and overacted the dying-swan effect, but was bearable.

David Cook: Completely a fish out of water, would not even have been good enough for a third-rate dinner theater in Petaluma. (Nothing against Petaluma, mind you, where I've never been.) This was just wrong, totally wrong.

Jason Castro: Weak. Terribly weak. Pale and washed-away and left for dead weak. Should've accompanied himself on the ukulele and maybe his puniness would have muscled its way through. Have there ever been such bad performances as this and David C's this late in the tournament? This is only the second year I've paid much attention, so I don't know. I remember Sanjaya's final couple of performances last year actually being pretty reasonable.

Carly Smithson: OK. She's at home, rocks it and stomps it, but home is still average bar-band soul.

Syesha Mercado: Is right with the rhythm but she has zilch personality to give it, despite her alleged "animation" this evening. I always feel like I'm hearing a simulation.

David Archuleta: Sweet, nice, ok...zzz...zzz.

Bearable: Carly, Brooke
Bearable if you've been restricted to a spice-and-herb-free diet: David A., Syesha
Blood was extracted and replaced by condensed milk: David C., Jason

But I don't see any great injustice in Carly's being voted off. Her voice is too emotionally blocked to convey much personality, even if she's got volume and energy. Of course Syesha is twice as bad at projecting emotion and personality or much of anything, and she ought to go down next week but I wouldn't be surprised if they take away Brooke instead.

Comments

[justfanoe.livejournal.com]

I'm not entirely sure what's happened to Brooke White. She seems to have declined over time, but she's still my favorite. Davd A, it turns out, has the worst taste in music ever and this is significantly hampering my enjoyment. I don't think anybody (except David Cook this week) has been genuinely bad the last couple weeks, but they've all been fairly boring. Actually, I thought Mariah Carey week was pretty good, though I agree this week was terrible. I don't even think anybody was genuinely good this week, except maybe Carly Smithson.

I wouldn't be too upset if Brooke left. I've given up hope on her giving another performance as good as "Love Is a Battlefield" or "Let It Be", which are still the best 2 performances of the season by anybody.

[justfanoe.livejournal.com]

Next week, by the way, is Neil Diamond week, and presumably all of the performers will do 2 performances. That's how they've done it in the past, at least.

[poptasticuk.livejournal.com]

How will they find 2 Neil Diamond songs each, let alone one? I only know Sweet Caroline!

[justfanoe.livejournal.com]

Truly a mystery. Perhaps they will do separate themes for each performance, which they have also done in the past. "Red Red Wine", covered by UB40, is also a Neil Diamond song. So there's at least 2. 20% of the way there!

[poptasticuk.livejournal.com]

All I know of Neil Diamond is that he makes mum-music, so I guess it will be harder for David C than David A, which is nice. But I've just recalled, I think, a Neil Diamond week from a series a few years ago which I seem to remember was awful. Although that may have been cos I didn't know any of the songs.

[koganbot]

Oh Jessica, Jessica, Jessica. The man has only been writing songs professionally for 48 years. Even not having paid attention to the last 35 of those, I can "find" two songs in a snap.

How about "I'm A Believer"? "Solitary Man"? "Cherry Cherry"? "I Thank The Lord For The Night Time"? I think you'd like those.

(Have you ever heard the Romantics' "What I Like About You"? It has become a staple at sports arenas in the U.S. It's basically a clumsy reworking of "Cherry Cherry.")

But I'm not sure how Brooke White is going to convince listeners that she's a solitary man. Oddly, though, the person who I think could put it over is David Cook. Giving it more growl than sorrow might work. Could compensate for last week's awful performance.

[justfanoe.livejournal.com]

I think Brooke could do OK on a song in the "Song Sung Blue" type vein.

[koganbot]

Actually, that's what I was thinking - going on the basis of "Let It Be," she could be good at delivering another person's sap with conviction, as long as she avoided the temptation to make the song big. For her, "Solitary Man" would probably be too overemotional already as to how it's written, could throw her into caricature.

[poptasticuk.livejournal.com]

I don't know any of those except I'm A Believer, only cos of the Monkees. Of course I know What I Like About You, though - it's a teenpop cover staple!

[poptasticuk.livejournal.com]

But now I've listened to Solitary Man, I know it - it was covered by H.I.M, a Finnish rock band!

[koganbot]

And H.I.M.'s version (or should I say H.I.S. version?) isn't that different in effect from Neil's! Interesting thing was that Neil had a very minor hit with it back in 1966 and then it was rereleased in 1970 and did well. That's almost as big a gap as the one separating the two times "Space Oddity" hit in the UK.

[poptasticuk.livejournal.com]

Yeah, they're very similar. I always thought it was oddly catchy for that band. If David C has heard this he'll certainly know what to sing on Tuesday.

[andthatisthat.livejournal.com]

This week was utterly dire, I agree. I'm trying to think of other people who've done terrible performances this late in the competition - I think Kellie Pickler's 'Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered' in season five was around this point, and that was wretched. Katharine McPhee's 'Against All Odds' was a bit later than this, but not quite in the same league of badness. Jordin Sparks's 'Living On A Prayer' was in what would have been Top 5 week if not for the non-elimination during Idol Gives Back. And every single performance by Taylor Hicks was a fucking trainwreck, but I'm biased.

I'm glad you agree with me on David Cook - there seems to be so much adoration of him spread across the internet, and I don't get it at all. As much as I love Brooke, I rather think it's kinder for her to go home now before she cracks up completely.

[martinskidmore.livejournal.com]

I thought Jason was really terrible, but yes, a rotten week. ALW's advice was mostly laughable - "Try it unanimated. Now try it animated. Okay, we're going with that version." Thanks, Andrew - so we're not going to deliberate sing it with as little life and expression as possible, then? I've not seen results yet, but judging the Davids' surprising popularity, I can see it being between Jason and Brooke - I hope Jason goes.

[koganbot]

Are you going to watch the results show? If so, I won't give it away. I will say that despite Jason's terrible performance, it would be a bad thing if he went: he's absolutely, inimitably himself, usually he gets a reasonably pleasant performance out of his sketch of a voice and his lackadaisical air, sometimes better than pleasant, and he's the one performer this year (maybe any year) who puts himself at odds with the show's vaunting of professionalism. He's a stoner, not a punk, but in the context of the show he's almost a symbol of resistance. (Not that resistance necessarily makes better music than professionalism - it usually makes worse - but with Brooke being the only talent with pro potential whom I actually care about this year, Jason's a nice counterbalance to the whole thing. But man he sucked this week.)