Year In America August 28, 2008

[koganbot]

poptimists has evidently GONE ON STRIKE against the British charts (fwiw I go Biffy borderline NONTICK, the Automatic less borderline NONTICK, Gabriella Cilmi borderline TICK, Alphabeat remix MEGATICK, Metallica deep snoring NONTICK, J Majik further even into the stupor NONTICK), but America rolls on! T.I. jumps to number one, Kardinal Offishall makes his first journey into the top five, Pink leaps top ten in one week rather than taking the usual six months, M.I.A. holds at six while keeping her bullet, David Archuleta's "Crush" crashes from two to fifteen, Jazmine bubbles under.

T.I. "Whatever You Like": Video has fast flirting at the fast food counter, tune's a nice summer lilt (how come tunes are never summer wilts, huh?), and to criticize this for being light would be perverse, esp. given that T.I.'s fault's generally been to go too heavy. But as a critic and fan I stand on my right to be perverse, and this is too light. Borderline NONTICK.

P!nk "So What": Old theme rehashed, the hurt girl putting on a tough front, SEE, irony and anger layered on even thicker than usual, the chorus overbearingly sweet in nu-Luke mode (don't know if this is Luke, but if it isn't, it's someone doing a good copy). Broad, grating, and catchy like Katy Perry but not as good even. Borderline NONTICK.

Hit Masters "All Summer Long": 'Cause the Kid Rock version is unavailable for legal download, this is the version they're buying on iTunes. But if anyone cares enough about this track to stream it, I haven't found out who. N/A.

Metallica "The Day That Never Comes": Tune has an eastern flavor that would be good with a freestyle remix, which unfortunately it'll never get in a million years. Hetfield starts off surprisingly weak, and when he puts the effort and agony in his throat he's still weak. Halfway through they forget the doleful easternisms and go into mediocre riffage. At the beginning it seemed as if they had a song. Too bad. NONTICK.

Comments

[koganbot]

Ah, some people around here actually do research. Well, Max in Luke mode. Was Max on "Girlfriend"? [Spends seconds doing actual research.] No he was not! Yet this seems to follow the "Girlfriend" template of gut-thumping sweetness.