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koganbotA 12-Point Manifesto
By Zaza
1. I appreciate that you have provided me with a scratching post with an equally scratchable base, but, while rough and resilient, neither of these has nearly the responsiveness and sensitivity of the ever-movable curtains.
2. Also, my claws can get stuck in the curtains, which gives me the chance to swing, momentarily, providing me needed exercise.
3. Note that it is another inhabitant of this apartment, not I, who expresses opinions on my need for exercise.
4. And I'm not the one who has so far neglected to take me in to have my claws trimmed.
5. Also note that I'm usually very good about the rule that says when two humans are on the bed at the same time I have to stay off.
6. But about this bed thing: when I'm already on the bed, and there are no humans on the bed, or there is only one human on the bed, and then one or more other humans also get on the bed so that the total number of humans on the bed is now two, I don't see why I, rather than one of them, should have to get off the bed. I didn't willfully create this violation.
7. But I let you shoo me off anyway.
8. And bringing out the spray bottle really wasn't called for.
9. It is a cliché of cat manifestos to refer to the inadequate size of a litter box, so I'm not even going to mention it.
10. When I sit on a pile of papers or envelopes, I am simply acclimating them to the apartment, so I wouldn't call them relevant to this particular conversation.
11. And if Frank hadn't left the t-shirt on the floor I wouldn't have considered sitting on it.
12. Therefore, I am right to scratch the curtains.
As attested by Zaza on July 9, 2014.
