Help Me Write My Bio

The Las Vegas Weekly wants a short footer bio from me (about 25 words). When asked for bios I generally write things like "Frank Kogan paints white stripes on black zebras, black stripes on white zebras, and black-and-white stripes on plain zebras." Or I get even more fanciful (see examples below). But I want to be more straightforward for this one; otherwise I'll come across as gauche or smirky or trying too hard. Yet I still want to have a special flair, rather than do the usual bit of "Here's where respected institutions have noticed me."

So, would appreciate any attempts on your part to write my bio for me.

( Previous bios )

It would probably be a good idea to work in a plug for my book.

The Visceral Extends Its Domain: The Rules Of The Game Continues

Here's the first ever Rules Of The Game Followup Column. Contains metal and morality, romance and longing. Quotes Martin. You're encouraged to comment here, there, everywhere.

EDIT, JUNE 8: Strangely, the link I'd posted in the previous paragraph didn't work after a few days, so I had to track down where the piece was and fix the link.

( Links to my other Rules Of The Game columns )