Dehydrated

[koganbot]

I'm at physical therapy and the occupational therapist is pushing me especially hard and I'm going along with it, and finally I have to sit down.

"I'm winded," I say.

"Are you just tired from exercising or are you short of breath?"

"Short of breath."

So, she and one of the aides get out the machines and take my blood pressure and pulse, the latter high and the former too low, in the low 90s. "Wait, I've got to go and ask the guy what this means." So she leaves the gym and comes back a couple of minutes later. "You're dehydrated," she says.

She gets me to drink a whole bunch of water and OJ, then lie down, and she says, "As soon as you go home I want you to make an appointment with your primary care physician for a physical. When was the last time you saw your primary care physician?"

"Oh, not for quite a while," I say.

She looks at her sheet. "Hold on. You don't have a primary care physician. You've got to get one." Has me stay prone, and they take my pressure several more times; they won't let me leave until my pressure is over 100. In the meantime, she looks at the sheet again. "How come if you're on Blue Cross/Blue Shield* you don't have a primary care physician?"

Me: "Because to keep the monthly payments low I've chosen a high deductible, because I'm broke, because there are things that normal people can do in the ordinary course that fill me with terror, because when doctors touch my chest and ask me to breathe I freeze up and forget how one normally breathes and I get embarrassed. Because I'm too lazy."

Physical Therapist: "Well, that's honest."

*I.e., I have health insurance (through Blue Cross/Blue Shield).

Comments

[koganbot]

I told my building manager about the dehydration, and she said, "Oh, so this means you'll become one of those people who carries around a plastic water bottle."

I cringed.