koganbot | Taking Sides: Laura Branigan versus Ricky Martin versus Raf versus Infernal

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Laura Branigan

Raf

Ricky Martin

Infernal

Also, if you insist, here are Royal Gigolos (shitty rip), Soraya, Paffendorf, Dim Chris & Thomas Gold, Paralyzed Age, and Caramelle.

(Laura's is the one that touches me most: she's a klutzy stomper who overenunciates lyrics, but with a song this good it makes her charming, an everywoman in the vortex of the night. Raf (the original version, came out several months before the Branigan) is good bread-and-butter Italodisco, Ricky's version's got the most flair and flexibility but he's a bit too easy with it, Infernal are forceful though far too cold.)

Current Music: "Self Control"

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koganbot

And on that comments thread I then posted this:

I will note the following passage - without necessarily endorsing it - by Irish-American Rob Sheffield, printed in the February 1996 issue of world-renowned fanzine Why Music Sucks. The piece was about his two summers (1980 and 1981) at Camp Don Bosco in East Barrington, New Hampshire, a Catholic summer camp for boys aged 8 to 15, run by priests and brothers of the Salesian order, its clientele mainly from Boston and suburbs. I've noted the crucial point in bold:

The three new albums were Hi Infidelity, Crimes of Passion, and Back in Black. Back in the suburbs, REO Speedwagon were a girls-only band, so I was shocked at how much all these Eastie thugs loved REO. They constantly lamented missing REO's June show at the Boston Garden. REO even wrote their best song about hating "Tough Guys," but Moriarty and Randall and Politano blasted it constantly. I still don't understand.

Crimes of Passion was even bigger, especially the headbanging parts like "Hell Is For Children" and the second half of "Promises In The Dark." Benatar was taken very seriously, and although occasionally guys pointed out she was a babe – as Politano put it, he "wouldn't mind straddling Benatar" – she was a real rock star, and everybody loved her songs. Ethnic pride had something to do with it, I bet, since La Dolce Benatar was kicking off a bel canto decade when Italian-Americans ruled the airwaves, whether it was John Bongiovi belting "Livin' on a Prayer," Madonna Ciccone whispering "Live to Tell," Lou Grammatico testifying "I Want to Know What Love Is," or Steven Tallarico yelping "Angel." (Maybe even Roseanne Liberto Cash on the country side of the dial.) Alas, for us jealous Irish kids, Eddie Mahoney and Joe Walsh were pretty much it, until the New Kids came along (fuckin' A!). In the last issue's blindfold test, everybody got nostalgic over Laura Branigan, but she was an embarrassment to our people; no Irish singer has ever tried so pitifully hard to sound Italian. You can't blame Laura, because Italians really do it better, but she still punches my buttons like polka does for John Wójtowicz*... and big fucking whoop about her "big voice." All Irish girls have big voices! You should hear my sisters fighting over shampoo!

As for Back in Black, it's drilled onto my brain forever, and what can I say except that rock and roll ain't noise pollution, rock and roll is just rock and roll, and if you're into evil you're a friend of mine. Brother Larry was particularly fond of "Hell's Bells," and frequently reminded us that the song had serious moral value in its reminder that Satan was on the prowl for human souls. "Shoot to Thrill" was the cabin theme song by consensus, and it would be a shame that Angus's too-many-women/too-many-pills dilemma has been overshadowed by "You Shook Me All Night Long" if the latter were not, in fact, the Rock and Roll Mutha.

*Rob was referring back to John's anti-polka tirade in the previous issue.

(But then further discussion ensued as to whether Pat Benatar née Patricia Mae Andrzejewski had any Italian ancestry, with no evidence being produced in favor, even if Pat did grow up in an Italian neighborhood, was trained to sing Puccini, had a band full of Italians, and is an inspiration to Demetria Devonne "Demi" Lovato.)