My Preliminary Singles Jukebox 20 (not counting the top 16)

[koganbot]

Random thoughts in regard to the Jukebox poll that will create the qualifiers for the Jukebox year-end tournament which will also comprise polls:

--The chorus for Allison Iraheta's "Friday I'll Be Over U" works a lot better than I had originally thought, even if it still is too loud and crowded. The verses are the problem; they sound like a stumbling attempt at Joan Jett doing a Gary Glitter stomp, but without an appropriately Joan Jett–Gary Glitter chant on top. Fortunately, their only being verses, the chorus wins.

--Will says that, given the reviews he's received so far for the newly posted tracks, there is one with potential to break into the Top 16, and that we'd never believe him if he told us what it was. Well, I would not believe him if he told me it was Lady Antebellum's "Need You Now," even though that's the new track I like best. Therefore, we can conclude that the track he is referring to is, indeed, something other than Lady Antebellum's "Need You Now." I mean, I don't believe it possibly could be "Need You Now." Unless of course my disbelief means that it is "Need You Now." I think I'm losing control of the logic here. I would believe Will if he told me the track was the DJ Khaled, which means it probably isn't. The Jukebox server seems to have gone down in the last hour and I don't remember which other tracks had received more than a couple of reviews as of last night (Iraheta had received none but now is up to one), but when it returns we can speculate as to what this unexpected high-scoring track is - and then determine to defeat it, unless it's Lady Antebellum or DJ Khaled. EDIT: Server back up, and the only other track that seems as if it had several reviews last night was Florence + the Machine's annoyingly mannered, "You Got the Love," but I'd believe Will on that one because people in this neighborhood tolerate her with enthusiasm, so now I'd disqualify it for credibility. Would two votes for Annie qualify her if they're both 10s? Roisin Murphy is up to four but I don't think she was last night (kinda liked that one). Oh yeah and there's Iyaz's "Replay," and I've done my best to lower its score.

--You should review the Lady Antebellum for Jukebox, so that it will get enough reviews to get posted and to be eligible for the year-end tournament. For fans of the Art Of Mush, it is state-of-the-art country MOR mush, quite moving in its mushy way, all about late-night drunk dialing, and mushiness.

--Speaking of the Jukebox year-end tournament, it is the subject of this post. We are in the process of qualifying tracks for the tournament. Those that the Jukeboxers already rated in the top 16 are in; if any new track gets rated high enough to break into the 16 it's in as well. The remaining 24 tracks (or 23 or even 22, in case one or two new tracks do break in) are chosen in a poll. And I am participating in the poll. I get to vote my top 20 among songs the Jukebox reviewed this year that aren't already in the top 16, and all the other Jukebox reviewers vote their top 20, and the top 24 are into the tournament as qualifiers. And then there are seeded contests, eight groups of five songs, like football playoffs! And then there's something else!

Here are my preliminary choices, subject to agonized reappraisals. Oh, and there are Amnesty Tracks, which I'm not going to explain, but three of my top six are Amnesty Tracks.

My Current 20:
1. Shystie f. DJ Deekline "New Style"
2. The Black Eyed Peas "Boom Boom Pow"
3. Love And Theft "Runaway"
4. The Lonely Island "I'm On A Boat"
5. Das Racist "Combination Pizza Hut And Taco Bell (Wallpaper Mix)"
6. Timberlee f. Tosh "Heels"
7. Girls Aloud "Untouchable"
8. Depeche Mode "Wrong"
9. Asher Roth "I Love College"
10. Tempa T "Next Hype"
11. Jeremih "I'mma Star"
12. Demi Lovato "Don't Forget"
13. Emiliana Torrini "Jungle Drum"
14. Eve & Benga "Me N My"
15. Britney Spears "3"
16. The Saturdays "Forever Is Over"
17. Maino f. T-Pain "All The Above"
18. Lily Allen "22"
19. Lady Antebellum "Need You Now"
20. Eva Simons "Silly Boy"

Have a shot at displacing the last several:
--Britney Spears "If You Seek Amy"
--Marit Larsen "If A Song Could Get Me You"
--Pink "Please Don't Leave Me"
--Sean Kingston "Fire Burning"
--Tommy Sparks "She's Got Me Dancing"
--Kanye West f. Kid Cudi "Welcome To Heartbreak"
--Donae'o "Party Hard"
--Alexander Rybak "Fairytale"
--Wale f. Lady GaGa "Chillin'"
--New Boyz "You're A Jerk"
--Veronica Maggio "Stopp"
--Bashy f. H-Boogie "Your Wish Is My Command"
--Brooks & Dunn "Cowgirls Don't Cry"

Probably have more of a shot, since they're on my list of Songs That Need Lots More Listens:
--Stush "We Nuh Run (Sirens Remix)"
--Lady GaGa "Paparazzi"
--Lady GaGa "Bad Romance"
--Lady GaGa "LoveGame"
--Allison Iraheta "Friday I'll Be Over U"
--Fefe Dobson "I Want You"
--Professor Green f. Chynaman & C.O.R.E. "Upper Clapton Dance"
--Medina "Velkommen til Medina"
--Three 6 Mafia f. Webbie "Lil Freak"
--DJ Burn One & Pill "Trap Goin' Ham"
--Morandi "Colors"
--Cascada "Evacuate The Dancefloor"
--Cascada "Dangerous"
--KIG Family "Head Shoulderz Kneez & Toez"
--Cam'ron ft. Skitzo & Byrd Lady "Cookies 'N' Apple Juice"
--Walter Jones "Living Without Your Love"
--Rihanna "Russian Roulette"
--DJ Khaled f. Usher, Young Jeezy, Rick Ross & Drake "Fed Up"

Had they not already been in the top 16, I'd definitely have voted for Ne-Yo's "Part Of The List" and Taylor Swift's "You Belong With Me" and possibly would have voted for Yeah Yeah Yeah's "Heads Will Roll" and Medina's "Kun For Mig."

Reason to be cheerful:
In an unrelated note, I read in today's NY Times that cheerfulness and glumness and the like spread through social networks; so, in an attempt to create the cheerfulness of us all, I will cheerfully say that owing to the utter, wretched awfulness of the new Idolator site I no longer feel I am missing anything when I don't get a chance to look at Idolator. This brings me peace of mind, knowing that I am less out of the loop than previously, now that there is less of a loop. Also, the wretched Robbie who writes most of the new posts is most definitely not the woman named Robbie I know here in Denver. Next time I see Denver Robbie I will congratulate her on this fact, should we be in need of conversation starters.

Comments

[edgeofwhatever.livejournal.com]

I would appreciate it if you did explain Amnesty Week, because I haven't got a fucking clue.

Denver Robbie should be delighted she's not That Other Robbie.

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

The awfulness of the nu-Idolator writers bothers me so inordinately. They have both managed to parlay that kind of "writing" into successful careers such that they call themselves "journalists", have audiences (who? who on earth would want to read them?)...I don't get it. I don't get if they actually think they're good writers, or what their purpose is.

[koganbot]

Actually, it's pretty simple: the Amnesty tracks are a bunch of singles from the last year that Will never posted for review that various of us nominated for Amnesty Week so that the Jukeboxers could review them. You could have sent him a nomination two, but I'm inferring that you didn't. Next week we can start reviewing them, all blurbs due by 7 PM London time on November 22, which I think would be 2 PM your time. And the week following that he'll post scores and reviews, just like normal.

So that's how Shystie and Timberlee and Das Racist get on my list, since the Amnesty tracks are as eligible as any of the others.

[koganbot]

I only heard about this today, when you blogged about it. Has there been discussion on ILM? Has Maura said anything?

[edgeofwhatever.livejournal.com]

So are the Amnesty singles already eligible for our lists, or do we have to wait and see if they get enough reviews and get posted?

[edgeofwhatever.livejournal.com]

DID YOU SEE THE THING ABOUT GAY PEOPLE? WITH THE RAINBOW MONEY. OH GOD I WANT TO STAB THEM.

[koganbot]

One theory would be that the new writers are interns writing for free, though you said that this Robbie person is 35; I suppose it's never too late to be an intern. I should become an intern somewhere, as Editor In Chief.

[edgeofwhatever.livejournal.com]

Which is to say, yes, I feel the same way, and judging by the comments being left today, we are not alone.

I mean, I don't think there's anything wrong with lulzy snark in and of itself, and if they / their parent company want to turn Idolator into a moderately music-focused gossip blog, then that's fine. Go right ahead. But they're not even good at that. Every post I read, I get the sense that they are bored, malicious nursery school teachers clapping their hands and raising their voices in an attempt to fool a group of toddlers into thinking they're friendly and exciting.

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

I've no idea if they're writing for free, Maura has said nothing - I am clinging on to the hope that she quit to take advantage of a better opportunity elsewhere, because sacking her in favour of these morons is a crime against culture and literacy. But I suspect they're getting paid: Becky quit a gig at E! Online for this, and Robbie's bafflingly popular blog seems to have established him pretty well (enough to get interviews with big names, at any rate). All of this is very depressing for so many reasons.

ILX shock and horror is here - most of the thread is about the F2K list Maura was doing, before the abrupt change mid-list.

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

The deadline for our lists is Monday (I think) so I assume they're all eligible regardless.

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

It really is all about their writing. I think they think they're being chatty and informal, but don't get that doing that well requires a bit more than a sprinkling of explanation marks and fansite-style diminutives. The tone is gossipy, except there's not even any gossip, let alone anything of substance. Their idea of cultural commentary is to go "ooh!" or "yay!". HOW HAVE THEY MANAGED TO CARVE OUT CAREERS AND GAIN AN AUDIENCE DOING THIS? This is distressing.

[koganbot]

I think they all will get posted no matter what (unlike some of the new regular songs, possibly). Until his bit of time off over the last five days, Will has done a good job of drumming up blurbs when a song was short.

I hope he's OK. He's done a terrific job, given what he's trying to do.

By the way, in regard to something you wrote in your lj: reviewing and rating songs doesn't come naturally to me, either. It's much more natural for me to post on comment threads, for that matter. Reviewing is actually something of a task that I force myself to do here and on poptimists, because it's how I stay abreast of music. Also, it's important to start the discussion, sometimes. In any event, I think it's important for you to start and lead discussions as well. Among other things, you're good at putting music into the context of a lived lives, if you know what I mean, and that's exactly the sort of thing that isn't done very well in music criticism. The Jukebox format of short blurbs and ratings may not be conducive to that, but that may just be because people don't try. Back in Why Music Sucks when we did the blindfold tests I actually told people that they didn't have to write about the song in their blurb, if they didn't want to, much less justify their scores. I pushed for personality and irresponsibility because I knew I had the writers who were responsible and talented enough to handle it. And even if the Jukebox's blurb-and-rating style doesn't seem natural to you, you should get your voice in there as best you can.

(Also, if you haven't, you should check out what goes on in the comment threads to Popular. When Tom reaches the late '80s and into the '90s, I think you'd flourish there.)

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

lol just done mine and we have a crossover of...TWO.

also just realised that female-fronted jerk isn't gonna get covered, so no Bangz/Pink Dollaz/Babydollz/New Era :(

[koganbot]

Lex is wrong upthread. The deadline for lists is not this Monday, it's Sunday the 22nd at 7 PM London time, 2 PM your time, just the same as for the Amnesty blurbs. Noon my time, right when I'm due at an early Thanksgiving dinner.

[koganbot]

No, deadline is not Monday, it's Sunday the 22nd. Here's what Will wrote:

"The deadline for ballots: 7pm, UK time, Sunday 22nd November. That's 2pm EST and 5am Monday Australian. There will doubtless be wiggle room, but I want to get the groups sorted and drawn that night, and then allocate voters to groups accordingly."

[koganbot]

Yeah, too bad no one nominated any for Amnesty Week. I get the impression that a lot of people just plain forgot to nominate, and didn't read Will's exhortations, since most of what he writes is about deadlines and what needs reviews and such, and maybe people skipped over lots of his text on days they knew they didn't have time to review.

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

Probably. Or they're just flakes. On the day Will sent that I emailed Melissa about what to nominate, as I couldn't decide between Subeena and Stush, and she enthusiastically said she'd nominate Subeena. A few days later when Will confirmed all the nominations...Melissa emailed me going "whoops, forgot!"

(I was like WELL DO IT NOW THEN, maybe Will will be generous, which is presumably why Subeena made it in as a late nomination.)

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

Despite my best efforts, my disorganisation is always a step ahead of me.

[koganbot]

lol just done mine and we have a crossover of...TWO.

Shystie and Timberlee, I'll wager.

[edgeofwhatever.livejournal.com]

They might not even be so bad if they actually bothered to cultivate some sort of relationship with the readers -- it's like they're using some sort of shorthand for excitement or disappointment or fandom, but without telling us what their little scribbles stand for.

On the other hand, you know what, no, they would probably be useless no matter what, because I just remembered that part where Becky (IF THAT'S REALLY HER NAME) decided piano = sad. What? Oh yeah, ragtime, now there's some fucking depressing music.

[koganbot]

Yeah, this from his email: "I've three more songs that I'm going to upload, too. One will be Melissa Bradshaw's amnesty pick. Which I can't remember right now."

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

Timberlee and Tempa T. I like "New Style" fine but it pales in comparison to the Ill Blu remix of "Pull It", which is Shystie's really big 2009 moment (and not nominated). (I also think Timberlee's "Damn" on the Phantom Riddim is way superior to "Heels", fwiw.)

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

This is it, if you want to listen now - Subeena - Boksd

Also essential (and very different) but not nominated is her new single "Solidify":



Basically, Subeena is an incredible talent and I heart her.

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

That "liveblog" was such a catastrophe of "music journalism". At no point did they even describe a song adequately, let alone analyse any deeper issues.

I mean, what:

Ooh, folky! Am I clapping hands and singing around a campfire? I just might be! I think I’m liking this one best because it just sounds different. It’s got its own personality, whereas almost every other song on this album sounds like another version of itself. But this song is, wait for it, alright with meeee!!! Wooo high five for awesome puns!!

HOW DOES THIS GET POSTED ON A PROFESSIONAL MUSIC SITE?

Plus, the obvious limited vocabulary which leads to terrible crimes against language like "acoustic-licious" and "generic-afied".

[koganbot]

I had no idea there was such a thing as "Damn" or Phantom Riddim. All I've got is 3 The Hard Way.

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

Timberlee - Damn

90% of my dancehall these days comes from the excellent Heatwave blog (which is where I got the heads up for both "Heels" and "Damn", as well as a TON of awesome stuff this year).

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

The other essential Timberlee cuts you might not have heard are "Bubble Like Soup" (from before this year) -



And her feature on Bounty Killer's "Gangsta Style":

[koganbot]

ACK! WHEN I GO TO THE HEATWAVE SITE MY WEB BROWSER POSTS A WARNING THAT IT SEEMS TO CONTAIN MALWARE! I wonder if that's just today, or if the browser is wrong. In any event, I'll stay away for the time being. I remember Chuck saying that he got those warnings when he went to some MSN site.

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

I've never had a problem with it, and I've just been on it, but I'm not the best person to advise at this point :/

[koganbot]

I'm speechless. This sounds like a robot programmed to create the language of a child from Mars, but the robot has no feel for how any human being in existence has ever talked.

[koganbot]

In any event, yes, all the Amnesty singles are eligible.

[edgeofwhatever.livejournal.com]

I don't think there's a single person who's commented on their writing and not compared them to robots. Have to admire their consistency, I guess.

[edgeofwhatever.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the whole thing would have been irrevocably fucked within a week if I were the one running it -- I don't know how he manages to make it actually work.

But I don't want to stay abreast of music! I'm not being contrary here; what I meant when I said I don't like reviewing and rating stuff is that there's this emphasis on discovering and discussing new music on poptimists, and across all the related websites, which is fine if that's what people want to do, but it doesn't interest me and I hate forcing myself to listen to music in a completely unnatural way just so I can have something to say. Because most of the time I don't have something to say. The reason I'm good at putting music into the context of lived lives (thank you) is the same reason I'm not interested in frantically keeping up with what's new. Listening for the sake of listening doesn't do it for me -- if I'm going to have an opinion on a song, it'll be because I heard it coming out of someone else's headphones on the train, or because somebody said something about it that made me angry, or because it drifted across the street while I was sitting there with with windows open and suddenly it sounded different, or because it came on at 3AM when I was smashed and tired and everyone started singing along and at that moment I understood what it was for, or because it just reminded me of one of those things. Not because, like, I listened to it a couple of times. But listening to it a couple of times seems to be all people want to talk about.

The Popular comment threads were actually what prompted me to do the blind taste test (which I'll get back to you on, eventually, I'm just trying to figure out what I want to say).

[koganbot]

I don't think there's a single person who's commented on their writing and not compared them to robots.

Maybe... maybe that means that we... that we're robots too.

[edgeofwhatever.livejournal.com]

I ain't no frakking toaster.

[edgeofwhatever.livejournal.com]

I mean, there are these whole narratives to talk about, if you just sit and spend some time listening to a single band -- the story of how the music grew and changed, and why it took the shape it did, and the relationships the band members had, and what it felt like to be a fan, and the in-jokes and the mythology, and how you heard their hits when you were a kid but it never really hit you till you were older and you fell in love with these songs, these people, and you just kept discovering more and more, how the albums fit together, how if you just paid attention you could see that they had this whole philosophy that was there all along.

But, you know, no. Let's talk about some song that we've heard four or five times at most, by some artist who's put out a single album. Exclusively. All the time. That's wayyyyy more interesting.

[edgeofwhatever.livejournal.com]

That all came out grumpier than I intended.

[koganbot]

Oh, I've been chief grump and bottle washer on this subject for years, arguing that if we insist that music be news then we don't understand it. I've written polemics on the subject. I will say, nonetheless, that for me there's been a payoff for throwing myself or getting thrown at a bunch of unfamiliar new sounds week in and week out. And I'll just say that if you're in on a conversation it's more likely to be a better conversation, and if more people like you are in the conversations, then the conversations open up for even more people like you, and what people in the conversations allow themselves to do also opens up.

And now I have to go do my shoulder exercises, and go shopping.

[katstevens.livejournal.com]

I never really read Idolator unless someone linked to it elsewhere - just too much info to process, most of which was about music I didn't care about. However I did like the bits I got round to reading, and am saddened that the crock of shit up there now has been deemed an acceptable substitute. I mean, dudes - pop music is one of the easiest things in the world to be snarky about so if you're going to do a snarky pop blog then ffs you must be able to come up with something better than 'Irish quartet Westlife'. EASIEST TARGET EVER.

I have Shystie as my top pick as well - I'm sure this will surprise no-one seeing as I nominated it for the amnesty. Am still sorting out the rest of my 20 but it's worryingly different to my overall top 20 tracks (i.e. stuff that might not have been a single). For instance, the Electrik Red song on there is my 6th favourite Electrik Red song (but 'So Good' would probably still make my top 30).

[katstevens.livejournal.com]

Fvcking hell Frank, what is Asher Roth doing on yr list????

I'm sure there's something on my list you might find dreadful too, but DUDE that guy sucks enormous donkey c0ck and I need some justification!

[alexmacpherson.livejournal.com]

Not to unnecessarily gender the discussion, but this perspective is something which a lot of amazing female writers I know take (inc other jukeboxers) - that their passion for music and writing comes from how it fits into their lives, not from hunching over their laptop listening to an mp3. Half of me thinks this is totally understandable, b/c commenting on a song which has no impact on your actual life is weird, put like that, and I don't know how/why I do it; half of me thinks it's a damn shame, as ideally I would like to read what all those amazing female writers (inc you) have to say about a lot more music.

(Often I find that the Jukebox is a good routine to get into - forcing myself to bash out a paragraph often loosens up my brain w/r/t whatever else I have to write.)

[skyecaptain.livejournal.com]

Just popping in here for a high five.

[freakytigger.livejournal.com]

Gangster Style is in my top 5 of the year I think, just grew and grew AND GREW on me